Tagged: Canon

What I said this Sunday – Bible Sunday


This Sunday we kept as Bible Sunday, and it was a particularly special Sunday for us as we were receiving the gift of a new lectern Bible from the Friends of Saint John’s. We already had a lectern Bible, but it has been largely unused for a long time since, like many churches, we now use the New Revised Standard Version in our worship. The new Bible we have is a beautiful leather-bound copy of the NRSV with Apocrypha.

For the occasion I chose as the gospel reading Luke 5.1-11 for reasons which will become clear. Here’s what I said.

Have you noticed how some things just don’t make sense?

  • How do dads get away with buying presents for their children that they intend to play with themselves.
  • Why do we press harder on a remote-control even when we know the battery is dead?
  • Why do people go to Burger King and order a Double Whopper with large fries and then insist on having a Diet Coke?
  • How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  • Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know you haven’t got the money to pay it?
  • Why is there an ‘s’ in the word ‘lisp’?
  • Why do people say that they slept like a baby? Do they mean they cried all night and kept their parents awake?
  • Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to ashes and set fire to the kitchen?
  • Why is the Bible the world’s best-selling book, and yet so few people seem to actually read it?
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